Thanksgiving makes me sappy.
I mean, it’s not like I’m lacking on the emotion scale in the first place, but every November 20-something my heart softens a teeny bit more at the thought of all the blessings Jesus has given me.
Living in a country where I can write this freely without extreme oppression, on a shiny laptop from Apple, in a home that is warm and comfortable, where I don’t fear for my life or my health… all of this makes me richer than 90% of the world. And I don’t just mean financially, although that is incredibly true as well.
I have a rich life, full of love and laughter and meaning. I have rich relationships that have helped make me into the person I am today. I have rich opportunities to reach others with kindness and give from the abundance that is mine. But most of all, I have a God who defines LOVE and tells me even on my worst days that I am worthy of these blessings simply because I am His…
Jesus opened my eyes to something in the midst of my annual sappiness yesterday. I was talking to Him, listing off all of the things I was thankful for, some I’ve listed above, others I’ll list below:
“Thank you for husband. He’s such a good man.”
“Thank you for my beautiful boys who make me a momma and make me a better person.”
“Thank you for my family and friends and…” That’s when He interrupted me and said…
THANK ME FOR YOU.
I stopped and just stared blankly. Did I mishear Him? Thank God for me? Did He really want me to add myself to my own grateful list? Wasn’t that prideful or wrong or super strange… I thought about it, and I honestly could not think of a time I thanked God for me and who I am. Sure I would recite to Him who I was to Him… His child, the daughter of the King, precious and honored in His sight. All good things that He is daily still trying to write on my heart. But to actually thank God for ME… Yeah, no. Never done that.
So I said it, even though it felt nothing less than awkward.
“Thank you God for me…”
SAY IT AGAIN, MY CHILD.
What? Again?! Once was weird enough, Jesus.
SAY IT AGAIN.
Okay… “Thank you God for me.”
GOOD. NOW AGAIN.
And He told me to repeat it and repeat it and repeat it until I actually began to hear what I was saying and digest the words fully. It was like I was making up for lost time, focusing on forgotten gratefulness… for myself.
Even as I write this, I’m still mulling over that conversation. Why was it so difficult for me to thank God for me? I could list off literally 100 blessings without batting an eye, but bring me into the picture and I come to a stand still. And if you’re nodding with me, I’m glad I’m not the only one.
As Christians and humans I think we can put on this false humility thing, where we don’t want to “puff ourselves up” and think too highly of ourselves. Like thinking you are awesome is a bad thing, so you need to make sure you highlight your flaws. But when push comes to ackward shove, God wants us to admit it. He wants us to admit the fact that we really are amazing.
We are wonderful and perfectly made. We are worthy of thanks and appreciation, especially from ourselves. And it’s not because of anything we do in order prove it. It’s because we are made by an awesome God who makes awesome creations. He looks at us like we look at our own children, with a lovingly grateful heart. And I’m coming to believe it does our good God a sad injustice to dull something that is meant to shine.
So on this November 20-something, starting this Thanksgiving, I want you to do something with me and for me, my friend. I want you to dare to value yourself. I want you to step into new territory and venture into thinking you are worth it. You are worthy of being loved, and you are worthy of thankful recognition. And even if it weirds you out like it did me, I want you to look in the mirror sometime today and repeat after me…
Thank you God, for ME.
Because I’m grateful for you, Dear Reader and all that makes you who you are.
This is one forget-me-not we can’t neglect.
Not today. Not ever. 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.