I found another one today.
Usually I go into denial and say it must be some mysterious blond highlight, but today there was no question.
A big fat white hair… And *sigh*
Although I know it is the crowning glory of wisdom and grace, it still unsettles me. I pluck it out and say, “You were never even here, old friend.” Hoping a host of others are not following close behind.
It’s not that I’m scared to get old. I haven’t made it to my end years, but I hear they are the most fulfilling and rewarding ones yet. And I believe it. But what makes me feel jittery is something a little more real, a little more day by day.
Gray hairs equate to Time and Time is limited. It’s finite. The long days seem to pass slowly, but the years fly quickly by. As I approach 35 this year, I feel a sense of time-whiplash. Seriously… I was just dreaming with my sisters about where we would be when we were 30 and now I’ve blown past it. With every white strand I discover, I look in the mirror and see a familiar woman gazing back who prays she’s made a difference with the life she’s been given. Who would have thought a piece of hair would be so heavy?
I do not have any biological grandparents left. They are all partying it up in heaven, outside of time now. But I still miss them and think of them, usually every day. Each of their stories is filled with joys, imperfections, hardships and redemption. God did not disappoint. And kindly, He has given me four new grandparents on my husband’s side, two of which have impacted my life in profound ways, as well as my kids. It’s like they’ve always been mine.
These two people are the definition of a grand people. They live well and love well. They give and forgive. They live with intention and purpose and hearts overflowing. You are a better person for knowing them. Besides my mom, Gramma Joy is one of the only people I feel like I can share every aspect of my heart and she will never judge me. She only knows how to love. Jesus just looks so beautiful in her.
Time is precious and she embraces its value. She knows what to pour into and what to leave by the wayside. It’s a talent people like me are still learning. But it’s a much needed skill, probably more now than ever! Legacies are built day by day, moment to moment. And the choices we make help shape the its outcome. Do we choose the best over the good? Do we choose to love instead of hate? Do we choose the crucial things?
After this whole disaster of an election, I see so much division and hurt and flat out disdain. Seeing citizen come against citizen makes my spirit ache. We’ve stepped pass disagreeing and have moved on to all-out character assassinations. If you don’t agree with me then you must be *fill in the blank with harsh assumption*. But is this what we want to focus our hearts on? Really though. Policies change, politicians come and go, and life carries on. But people… people are worth the investment. People are worth the sacrifice, the time and the effort. Extending an open hand and listening ear does far more than any Facebook rant ever could. And bringing hearts together is so much better than tearing them apart. It may not be easier, but it’s the better way. It’s the only way.
It’s taken a few years to be able to say this honestly. I like being right… I mean, who doesn’t? But relationships are just too important and people too valuable to push aside just because we don’t see things the same way. Disagreement does not equal hate, and I’m refusing to let that lie stick. I’m choosing what matters most with the time I’ve been given and that means I choose people. I choose you, dear reader.
You matter most. And you certainly are worth it, no matter what you think or believe.
I’ll take these grand strands because you never know… maybe these hairs have brought a little touch of wisdom after all. Wisdom and a few new highlights.