This is My Fight Song


Last weekend my husband and I went on our first overnight getaway in years.  To say it was needed may be one of the biggest understatements ever.  In the midst of the craziness of family life, work, schedules, and much more we needed to escape and focus on the heart of it all…  With little time lately for us to have mommy/daddy time ALONE, we were really feeling the burn.  Agitation, fights, and unmet needs in all its ugly glory, folks.  Two weeks (+) of taking care of sick people didn’t help any either.  We were so drained and barely had anything else left to give at the end day, the only time we could hold a conversation without being interrupted by a tiny human.

Thankfully there is a BUT and a big one at that!

24 hours.  Away.  With him.  That’s all it took for me to both remember and forget.

I needed to remember where it all began.  I needed to remember real love and the foundation that built this entire family we are crazy about.  I needed to remember to hold his hand, laugh, kiss him, listen fully, and be grateful that such a good guy was mine to have and hold.

And I needed to forget.  I needed to forget about the expectations and tasks I placed on myself and others daily.  I needed to forget the “should have’s” and embrace the “now it can be’s”.  To give my man and myself grace to not have it all together and be completely fine with clumsily stepping forward as long as we were side by side, ready to hold each other up instead of tear each other down.

As we were driving back home to our littles, my husband said something like, “I hope you can be this free when you are home with the kids.”  At first, I felt my defensiveness pop up and I wanted to say, “Hey, I’m doing the best I can buddy and it’s a crazy life this mommyhood and wifehood thing and you know you could really ________ more…”  But I stopped my defenses dead in their tracks.  Been there, done that thanks.  He wasn’t meaning this as a critique or slam in anyway.  We just had a restful weekend where we were able to be ourselves, free to love and be loved.  I did feel free and I liked it!  Instead, I found myself agreeing with him.  Yes, I wanted to be free from the fruitless fight… Free from the struggle of worry and stress and fear.  I wanted this freedom every single day, especially in my own home.  Laughing more, goofing off, playing, imagining, dreaming, adventuring.  Things that bring life and abundance, joy and real truth.

As women our spirits can so easily be dragged down by the “necessities” of life when our souls are crying for something more, craving things of substance that makes us feel alive.  What makes you come alive, friend?  What makes your heart smile?  Once you find it, fight for it.  Our passions are precious and need to be protected.  Because there will ALWAYS be imposters that will compete for your heart, time and energy.  We need to proactively choose to fight for the life-givers, the aspects of this world that really matter.  We walk on shaky ground if our foundation isn’t solid.  And who wants to twist an ankle navigating that road?  I’ll pass, please.

Come full circle, and we are back to our weekend getaway.  One of the best parts of the weekend was an absolutely incredible concert we saw.  You must go youtube all of The Piano Guys music right now!  I’m serious.  As is custom, they saved the best song for last.  A mix of Fight Song with the classic hymn Amazing Grace.  I had no clue how they were going to mix these two extraordinary songs together since they seemed so different in tune and meaning.  But as we watched and sang the words in our minds it became clear that the composition was perfect.

We fight for what we love, when in reality we are the ones who are deeply and completely loved by the One who is always fighting for us.  This isn’t a solo battle, friends.  And kicker of all kickers…  He’s already won, which makes us victorious as well!  We strive to enter into His rest and it is when we stop fighting on our own and sit with Him that we see… We see His arms around us and we learn to trust in His goodness and His ability.  An eternal embrace cannot be broken ladies, no matter what we face in this life.  Loving grace is more than enough to lead us where we need to be…

“Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come,
‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.”

What a hymn.  And what sweet truth!  That’s a fight song I will gladly belt out.

Imperfect pitch and all.