I Don’t Feel Like Adulting Today…

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Seriously.  I woke on this lovely Monday morning and it was sunny and actually warm in February, which is a miracle in and of itself here in the Midwest.  But I laid there, listening to my 1 year old repeatedly summon me on the monitor and my 5 year old destroy things in his room.  Baby number three ,who is currently cooking in-utero, was kicking my side like soccer is his game.  I don’t want to do this today.

I don’t want to be a grown up.  I don’t want to be a responsible adult with neccessary jobs and valid expectations for the day, especially not a Mom on a Monday morning… Please, sweet Jesus.  I want to stay in bed, eat chocolate, binge watch Netflix and drink lattes.  Adulting pass, k thanks..

But instead, I make my worn down body rise and face the reality that comes with the beginning of every week.  I feel like the Dunkin Donut guy, half awake zombie-style.  “Time to be the Momma…”

And I would say today has gone pretty good so far.

*Yell at kids:  Check.

*Cry for no apparent reason:  Check.

*Sit and stare into nothingness while children destroy house:  Check.

*Keep kids alive:  Check.

*Frantically get oldest on the bus:  Check.

Yep, sounds about right.  I love my babies.  With all my heart.  But some days I just don’t wanna do it.  Being a mom is hard stuff and serious work.  We don’t get breaks unless we physically remove ourselves from the home and even then the invention of the cell phone has kept us captive to the husband’s or babysitter’s phone calls/ texts.  My dear husband had a guys’ weekend this weekend, which I’m really glad he was able to make happen.  He comes home and tells me how tired he is after a fun time with the boys.  But staying up until 3 joking around, eating junk food and hiking in gorgeous nature do not equal the same kind of exhaustion that comes with changing poopy diapers, dealing with temper tantrums and cleaning up after 2 little hurricanes.  It just doesn’t.

And why am I sharing this with you today?  Authenticity, my friends.  I’m being honest here and I have a feeling I’m not alone.  I’m not the only Momma out there today who is thinking these same thoughts or feeling these same feelings.  We get each other.  I’ve got your back and I know you have mine.  And I wanna let you know that it’s ok to not have it all together.  It’s ok to be real and open and genuine because life is beautiful that way.  Nobody wants to be friends with Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.  They want to connect with others who understand what they are going through and are there to offer much needed support and love.

So I’m here, fellow Anti-Adulter!  I hear your cry and if we were living by each other I’d invite you over so we could watch our kids create chaos together, drink coffee and smile.  I’d lean over and say, “You are doing great, girl!  Doing Monday like a boss.”  And I mean it.

Because this is life, my sister.  Every day real life.  And I’m so glad to do it with you.

 

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Everyday Superheroes

And the tears are flowing… This video is touching to the heart and personally strikes a deep chord.  My amazing son has special needs and as Kindergarten approaches quickly next year, we find ourselves worrying about bullies at school.  No parent wants their child to be made fun of, but some kids out there just seem so cruel.  Why attack someone else for no other reason than to belittle them and make them feel small?  Why make them feel more out of place than they already do?  Are their feelings that easy to throw aside in order to puff oneself up?  It’s sad and it needs to stop.

Being different is NOT a bad thing.  Variety should be celebrated and we should make sure to teach our children to step up and defend those who need it the most.  These five boys are my heroes for the day.  Thank you for encouraging this Momma and making it a little easier to send my baby off to school, knowing there are kids like you in the world.

21,900 Days

Celebration is my thing.  It’s really my family’s thing.  While growing up we all made it very clear that every person in the family was worthy of special treatment, love and celebration.  Whether it was birthdays, accomplishments, events, sports, music, theatre or more, we celebrated and loved and rejoiced with each other.  It’s called doing life with people and as I look back on my childhood, I realize now how insanely blessed I was to have such an intentional family.

Today marks another celebratory day.  Add a couple more days to the 21,900 listed above (thanks Leap years…) and you have the priceless days my Dad has graced this planet with his heart and mind.  Today is his 60th birthday and I don’t think I could write a blog long enough to emphasize or explain how much of a difference he has had in my life, my family’s life, and the countless others he has impacted by his giving heart.  He is seriously one of… if not THE most generous men on this planet.  He recently put up a picture on Facebook that really stuck out to me.  Not just because it applies to him, but because in it I see the legacy each of us is called to leave behind before we make our exit.

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You may not realize it, but you are important.  You matter deeply.  You make a real difference in this life.  Some days I look in the mirror and see the old food crusted on my clothes, my hair in a knotted mess, and the dark circles under my eyes highlighting my exhaustion, and I think, “Who the heck am I?  What am I doing with my life?”  And then my son runs up to me and pulls into the playroom to see what he has built.  It is an incredible creation, but what is even more incredible to me is his desire for my affirmation.  To him, mommy’s approval is the most important thing.  Those tender little eyes long to see a loving smile and a proud grin.  My family is my world, but I am also my family’s world.  It goes both ways, and we as parents really need to remember this because our influence over our babies goes a long way.  Lasting impressions are made on their hearts with just a soft touch or a quick cuddle.  There’s no measure for the time, energy and care we give to our kids.  It’s a precious honor to parent our precious ones.

Love is our legacy.  And that legacy continues throughout the generations.  God’s love never gives up and it certainly never gives up on His kids.  Looking at Simba and Mufusa in the pic above really makes me think (you know you were thinking the same thing 🙂 ).  The strong Mufusa tells Simba, “Remember who you are.”  I want my children to know who they are:  beloved, treasured, blessed.  Always.  No matter what they do.  No matter what path they take.  They will always be mine…  A glimpse of heaven on earth.

I am thankful I’m a Legacy-leaver.  Everyone is.  Because every life matters.  And every life has an influence that will extend throughout time.

Sixty years today.  Sixty years of celebrating one life that has made such a difference in this girl’s heart.  Thanks Dad for being my Mufusa.

You’ve done far more than you will ever know.

 

Try This…

In a world where women are told they are too much or too little every day, this video is refreshing.  The expectations placed on us ladies is unbelievably unrealistic and unfair.  And it’s time we stop being pulled around on society’s leash!  I used this music video while speaking at a church’s women’s time a little over a year ago and of course the tears wear flowing throughout the room, including mine!  Behind the mask of every female is a woman wanting to be loved just as she is… And trust me, dear one, you are!  God made every single person unique and beautiful, each beloved by Him.  There’s no exception.

All the “fake” in this world makes us believe we are meant to be something other than ourselves.  We try to fit our culture’s mold of beauty, but please friend…  Let’s stop trying.  God gives you the freedom and glory to be you.  And I can be me.  Freely and uniquely me.

Let’s live in that freedom 🙂

Top Five

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Five things to accomplish today, a regular Tuesday with all its craziness…

1.)  Stop beating  myself up about all the things I won’t accomplish today.  It’s not gonna get done and I will survive.

2.)  Be realistic.  What can I actually do with the time and limited energy I have in my pregnant body and brain?  Don’t expect too much from myself or let the expectations of others rub off on me.  Everyone is different and every home situation is different, so don’t even think about playing the comparison game.  Don’t put the bar too high and don’t drag myself through the mud when I can’t reach it.  I’m not a failure.  I’m human.

3.)  Play with my babies.  Prioritizing my day needs to happen over and over again because I can easily get lost in the to-do list.  But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I’d rather spend time with my people instead of creating a spotless home for them to live in.  Time flies by so fast and soon all my babies will be big boys and then teenagers and then gone…  So I’m gonna play with firetrucks, wrestle and cuddle their faces while I can.  The dishes, laundry and cleaning can wait.

4.)  Do something for me.  Whether that’s attempting to sneak in a shower, eating some chocolate, putting on something other than my usual PJ’s, or listening to an actual adult song I want to hear… I need to do something for me.  If I don’t, I will get lost in the chaos and my sense of self will be covered in dirty diapers and spilled milk.  I’m taking these 10 minutes to write this post.  So check, sanity saved!

5.)  Breathe and Smile.  Seriously.  It’s amazing what stopping, taking a much-needed deep breath and then smiling will do for the heart.  In the midst of the noise, I just need to step back and BREATHE.  Because it won’t always be like this and I need to remind myself that, yes… it will all be okay.  Promise.

My top five today.  And every day please.

Real Beauty

… As a woman I hope you realize your worth and the value you bring to this world.  It will never depend on the size of your pants or the color of your hair or the fashion you wear.  Beauty comes from deep within and its lovely face shines through every woman in different and unique ways, all of which are needed in a sometimes harsh and ugly world.  Everybody is beautiful.  And everybody is important.  So if you ever struggle like I do when you look in that critical mirror, let me just say…

You, dear friend, are a beautiful soul!

 

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Happily Outnumbered!

Ok, I’ve gotta vent for a minute here. Please bare with me…

This past Thursday was a precious day.  My husband and I found out we are going to be blessed with another little boy in our family!  It’s incredible and crazy and apparently my uterus likes blue… three in a row!  But I grew up with all girls except my baby brother. I’ve worked with girls/ women in ministry for years.  I’ve lived with women throughout college and beyond.  I just love and understand my sister friends!  So after finding out that I would be outnumbered to the max in my grime-covered, truck-filled home, I honestly have to laugh.  Really God?  Are you sure you know what You’re doing?!  Because I don’t.

I don’t know how to raise BOYS!  Girls, I’ve got this.  But boys… someone please give me a handbook and some coffee (or Corona…).

The thing is…  I can handle the unknown.  I can handle not having a clue when it comes to raising little men.  What I CAN’T handle and CAN’T stand are the reactions I got from some after hearing I would be raising three boys.

“Oh man, three boys. I’m sorry!”

“Oh no really?!”

“Wow girl. Good luck! You’re gonna need it.”

“Well maybe you’ll get your girl next time…”

I just wanted to flat out say, “Seriously?  Do you actually think about the words that come out of your mouth?”  Now maybe some of these lovely people actually meant it in a joking manner, but I’ve got to make something very clear.  Having a boy is just as precious and treasured as having a girl, no matter how many baby boys you have!  I felt like people were making it sound like having a boy was second to having a little girl.  I’ve never had a girl, but I am one and so I think I have pretty decent credentials in saying both rock.  They are very different, yes.  And yes I will probably be making more trips to the ER, will go broke because my fridge is continually emptied, and will never have anything pretty stay in tact in my home again, but I will be having tons of fun with laughter, wrestling and hugs to prove it.  I also will never have to mow my lawn, pick up heavy things, take out the trash and open my own door as long as one of my men is with me.

I’m not an expert, but what I’ve come to realize in my short 5 years of raising sons is that they are quite simply AMAZING.  I love my boys dearly and would do anything for them.  One smile from him and my heart melts.  When he gives me a kiss or brings me flowers or calls me Momma or shows genuine concern when I get an ouchie… I see it.  I see the tender-hearted warrior, the protector, the gentleman, the sweet friend.  There’s a treasured bond between a Momma and her son(s).  I didn’t know it existed until I had my first son.  Boys want to take care of their mommies.  They want to make sure we are alright and if we aren’t they want to make it all better.  Boys looooooove their mommies and are thankful.  Mine cover me in kisses and hugs and snuggles every day.  Beyond blessed!  Boys look up to their mommies and respect them.  They truly care about what I have to say and seek affirmation from me and guidance.  Boys play and dream with their mommies.  They invite you into their insanely awesome imagination and you get to see their world of superheroes, construction workers and more unfold before your very eyes… all while you imagine what kind of man he will be.  Boys fall in love with their mommies.  We are their “first loves” and I’ve heard it said that any woman who comes into their life from here on out will be compared to you.  I’m cool with being the main woman in their life, and it will stay that way until they are at least 30 because that’s when I will finally allow them to date… maybe.

It’s an honor to raise boys.  Raise a strong, gentle man who knows how to treat women, and you deserve an award.  My energy bucket will probably be running on empty most days, but what mom’s isn’t?  God’s given me just what I need to raise these kiddos and I believe He hand-picked me to be a boy mom to these specific sweethearts.  And one day before I want to admit it I will be looking up towards my tall son as I adjust his tie for first big dance, helping him learn how to drive minus the crazed speeding, clapping like a maniac as he crosses that graduation stage, moving him into his dorm room with all his favorite foods from Mom, dancing with him at his wedding as I let him go, and finally smiling at him when holding my beautiful grandbaby…  I’ll whisper, “You have the best Daddy.  I promise.” *tear*

So I’ll just nod my head when I hear those comments… Because they don’t know.  They have no clue how incredibly lucky I am to be a mom of all boys.  I’m fine with these little ones who have stolen my heart.  All three of them!

Because I’m outnumbered.  And happy at that.